She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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