ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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