Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
