so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
