Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
