well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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