pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
