i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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