I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
