What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
