grandma shit on top of the toilet
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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