Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
