Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
