you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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