I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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