im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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