Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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