Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize