the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
