why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
