so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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