I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
