Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
