you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
