mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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