dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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