We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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