Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
