I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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