JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When did angry sex become our thing?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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