We're like a lot better than the average bears
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize