This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
