He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
