We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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