hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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