ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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