don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
