omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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