You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
