i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
