I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
