it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
