having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
