My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
