Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he shaved USA in his pubs
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
