I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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