She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
