Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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