You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.