i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I won't apologize to a one balled man
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.