trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no