I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.