Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.