My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.