never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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