I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
