he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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