No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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