it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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