Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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