It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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