So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
soo... how was my night?
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