i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ate ashes out of my bong
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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