I accidentally burped into my bong.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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