I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
