you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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