You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
