dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
God, I missed his penis.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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