That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
